Mosquito #1: Look, I know you’ve turned in for the night, but the girls and I were talking, and we feel badly about chasing you around the park all day. We built a campfire and would love to make it up to you by having you come out and share s’mores with us. Whaddya say?
Me: Thanks, but I’m full from dinner. Raincheck.
Mosquito #2: Obi, was that your family calling earlier? I hear there’s decent Verizon coverage if you head up that hill a ways.
Me: Phone is nearly dead, need to recharge.
Mosquito #3: OMG Obi, a BEAR! It looks like going for your food bag! We tried to stop it…
Me: One, I have a bear canister, and two I don’t hear anything. I appreciate the effort, but I’m not getting out of my tent tonight, end of story.
Mosquito #4: Candygram? *
Me: No dice.
Mosquito #1: (sighs) It’s no use girls, this one is too clever for us. We best move along to an easier target.
Me: Wow, I totally find myself taken in by this scheme….
Me: …not
Mosquito #1: (hiding behind tree). Damn it!
Mosquito #2: Don’t worry Millie, he’s got to come out to pee sooner or later…
* Landshark was always my favorite old SNL skit
Hiking Vicariously 
😂😂😂 A blog has never been more true.
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Woman hiker: Who’s there?
Land shark: Plummer.
Woman hiker: I don’t need a Plummer. Hey who is this?
Land shark: Delivery. I have your order of steak, fries, salad, potato’s, potato chips, beer, and ice cream.
Woman hiker: *unzips her tent* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
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